I’m writing because is xmas

I’m writing because is xmas, and I know, hard days are coming, but I love you, and no matter what happens, I’ll never feel repentance to be here with you.

I’m writing to say I didn’t have time to cry yet. Few days after I’m here, I was already working, going to the gym and meeting your friends. I didn’t have time to cry when I had to say “I’m sorry” and not “desculpa”. I didn’t have time to cry when I opened my wallet and saw some dollars and not my reais. I didn’t have time to cry at Gabi’s Birthday. And I hope wont have time to cry at Leo’s birthday next week. You know, myself will find this time soon or later, but whatever happens, remembers: “I love you, and no matter what happens, I’ll never feel repentance to be here with you”

I’m writing because I’m felling lost even you helping me so hard. I’m so thankful for everything you’re doing for me, but I’m still felling like my teenage first years, when I need my mom for everything and it was the worse time of my life. I completely forgot how is to be like this again. I’m sure this is the reason of all my stress too. At my first teenage years, I choose left them behind, and I did. I left my family, that place, and everything could remember me my sick past.
I don’t regretful, I don’t miss them, and I hope never will.

I’m writing because I decided to work hard even been at something I don’t want, and between so many different jobs, Varig come like a opportunity. I worked at shipping department and finance area, and I was good because a very especial person teach me once time ago, that no matter what we do, we need to do the best. And after all these years, I could feel I had a good life and (finnaly) a opportunity to be what I want.

I’m writing to say that you show up at this moment, and I feel love. And I believed in you, and I saw a opportunity to grow up together even you already having a company, a beautiful house, and your life. You said you needed help. So I left my private dream beside, and got in yours, I did some months of finance college and start to work at the movies. I’m not regretting, but sometimes I don’t ask to myself what I’m doing or wanting, I just do.

I’m writing to say sorry because I’m here to help you, but I don’t feel that to work like you for everything you’re asking is the right way to help, so I can’t stop to do questions. I hope you understand this point, because it’s good. And I’m sorry I wont be all the time with you, and I wont do exactly you think is right or good for me all the time. I grow up alone. Usually getting my decisions alone.

I don’t know if I still have time to do some things I want, and I don’t know if you’ll realize I’m not exactly who you dream about , we’ll be sad for that, but you’ll be here to hug me like you always do, and I’ll be here to give to you that little kisses like I always do.